Beth is joined by Ilana Dunn, a Millennial and Gen Z Dating Expert, Content Creator, and host of Seeing Other People. Ilana discusses her experiences with dating, her career transition from the music industry to Hinge, and her subsequent role as a podcast host. She shares her journey of vulnerability, from keeping her dating life private to openly seeking advice from her social media followers during a breakup. Ilana talks about the importance of self-respect, open communication, and not defining oneself by relationship status or job. Beth and Ilana explore the pressures of societal expectations, the value of timing in relationships, and the significance of self-awareness. They advise listeners to prioritize well-being, practice patience, and embrace their personal dating journey.

Quotes:

Ilana Dunn, ’00:06:16′, “It can be really scary to express what you need, what you want, but if somebody is going to judge you for it, if somebody is going to hear you and not be able to show up for you in the way that you need, that’s everything you need to know. That’s not your person, and you would rather know that from the start.”

Ilana Dunn’, ’00:11:43′, “I recorded this video of me where my face is red and puffy, I just finished crying, and I said, ‘You guys are always coming to me for dating advice and asking me questions. I’m going to turn the tables here. I really need your advice or just words of wisdom on how I can get through this because I don’t feel okay right now. I don’t feel like I’m going to be okay, and I just feel really scared and alone.'”

Ilana Dunn, ’00:20:08′, “I always like to say it was a breakup that needed to happen, that I didn’t have the balls to do it myself.”

Ilana Dunn, ’00:22:14′, “For so much of my life, I’ve defined myself by my relationship status and my job, which was such a disservice to myself because I am so much more than those things.”

Ilana Dunn, ’00:23:01′, “When I was single, that’s all I was to myself. I wasn’t enough for somebody to want to be with me. I had so much love to give, and in my mind, nobody wanted to accept my love.”

Ilana Dunn, ’00:33:34′, “I wouldn’t take back any of the heartache I went through, any of the pain, any of those days where I was so depressed I couldn’t get out of bed and felt like I was at rock bottom, because it brought me to where I am now.”

Ilana Dunn, ’00:43:12′, “Be kinder to yourself. Dating is really hard, modern dating is really hard, dating apps are so nuanced, and there are so many pros and cons to them. You’re doing great. Don’t be afraid to take breaks, take a step back if something doesn’t feel right. If you’re dreading a date, you don’t have to go on it.”

Ilana Dunn, ’00:43:40′, “Take it easy. It’s really hard, but don’t burn yourself out. It’s not worth it, and you’re never going to meet somebody when you’re feeling that way anyway. So just take time for you.”

Beth Gulotta, ’00:44:13′, “I have so many women that just sort of push through and keep dating, and they really would benefit from a break. It’s hard to reconcile with the narrative of feeling behind or running out of time, but when you can show up as your best self, that’s when you’re actually going to communicate, over-communicate, state what you need, and see clearly who’s in front of you.”