In episode 24 of Quiet The Clock, Jon Birger, a former senior writer at Fortune and Money Magazine and author of two popular dating books, “Datonomics” and Make Your Move.” explains the drawbacks of online dating apps. He discusses how these apps prioritize advertising and membership fees over long-term relationships and suggests reading and analyzing the annual reports of these companies to understand their true intentions.
The conversation emphasizes the importance of in-person social connection in dating, highlighting that meeting people in person allows for a better understanding of who they are and if you would be compatible as a couple. Beth and Jon encourage listeners to consider alternative approaches to dating and prioritize meaningful connections over superficial criteria when meeting new people.
They also explore topics like mixed-color dating and the misconception about education and perceived worth in a dating context.
Quotes
John Berger, 00:04:26, “Read the annual reports from these dating apps, read what they’re telling their own shareholders, and then decide for yourself if you think that this is right for you.”
John Berger, 00:17:05, “We as humans need to believe, and think, and know that maybe there was something magical involved, maybe there was fate, maybe it was meant to be, and there’s no fate or not meant to be if you’re sorting through 30 dating profiles on Hinge.”
John Berger, 00:23:31, “I just think about it, it’s crass. Because we now view who we’re supposed to end up with as a shopping experience, and as we know from Amazon, if you don’t like what you buy, you can probably return it within 30 days. It’s become a very transactional experience. I don’t think online dating is helpful because it turns dating into shopping.
Key Points
[00:02:04] There are negative aspects of online dating apps, including the financial interests of the companies behind them.
[00:07:50] There is such significance of having a social connection with someone before going on a date, as it leads to greater accountability and a different dating experience.
[00:08:24] Meeting people in person allows you to learn more through body language and conversation.
[00:10:36] Online dating apps are hindering genuine connections and preventing people from truly getting to know each other.
[00:10:59] Meeting people in person, without the pressure of dating, allows for a more authentic connection and a better understanding of who they are as individuals.
[00:15:55] Origin stories, such as how couples met, play a crucial role in creating a sense of destiny and belief in the relationship’s potential.
[00:20:55] There are many limitations of online dating, including the inability to see someone’s true character and the curated nature of dating app profiles.
[00:21:43] Explore being open to dating people from different racial backgrounds and don’t make assumptions based on societal expectations.
[00:25:00] A college degree does not determine someone’s worth, we need to also share the value of individuals in blue-collar professions.
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