Quiet The Clock Podcast

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In episode 17 of “Quiet the Clock,” I sit down with my best childhood friend to continue our conversation on navigating relationships. We discuss the challenges of being in a relationship with a strong-willed partner and the importance of communication. We also touch on the fear of loss and the pressure we put on ourselves to say the right thing, which sometimes led to rationalizing away talking to our partners.

We both acknowledge the importance of having difficult conversations and the growth that comes from them. We also recognize the strength of our partners and how they are not easily rocked, which provides a sense of security in our relationships. Overall, we emphasize the importance of communication and navigating the challenges that come with being in a relationship with a strong-willed partner.

We also discuss the ups and downs of friendship and the importance of being there for each other through life’s challenges. We acknowledge that no one is perfect and that it’s important to have realistic expectations of our partners and friends. 

We also reflect on our own experiences of envy and sadness when seeing others reach milestones like getting engaged or having children. We emphasize the need for vulnerability and for friends to hold space for each other’s pain and suffering. We also acknowledge the complexity and challenges that exist behind the curated images of social media and remind listeners that everyone has their own struggles and hardships.

Overall, this episode highlights the importance of communication, empathy, and vulnerability in relationships. We hope to normalize all emotions, including envy and sadness, and encourage others to come to their friends with their “shitty feelings” and allow them to hold space for them.

As always, thank you for listening. Don’t forget to tune in to the full episode for more insights and stories.

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Quotes:

  • “it feels daunting and there’s a lot of fear about…losing something that’s important to you if you don’t talk about it the right way.”
  • “deciding what’s important to you and deciding what you really need and sort of pushing through that fear oh yeah and having those conversations because for me it felt heavier to hold those conversations than to actually have oh yeah have them.”
  • “What are your two or three things that you need in that person? because they’re not gonna be everything and they’re not.”
  • “I mean, one of the things I think a lot about is the emotion of envy. I think it’s the most damaging, hardest feeling to experience, and I think it comes with this idea of like, you want, I am your best friend, I want to be fully happy, and why can’t I do that?”
  • “just to remember that what you see on the outside is not what’s real on the inside and i think we do a lot of comparison to what we project onto couples walking down the street right yeah and to remember that like everyone’s got complexity behind their.”

Key Points:

  • Partnerships and Strong-Willed Men [00:01:26] Beth and her best friend, Edin, discuss the challenges of being with strong-willed partners, including communication and decision-making styles.
  • Love Languages and Communication [00:04:13] They talk about their partners’ love languages and communication styles, and the anxiety and fear that can come with initiating difficult conversations.
  • Fear of Loss and Battling Fear [00:05:48] Beth and her best friend, Edin, discuss the fear of loss and the battle against fear when it comes to having difficult conversations with their partners.
  • The Challenge of Having Conversations with No Results [00:06:54] Beth and Edin discuss the difficulty of having conversations with no clear outcome or plan, and how it can be counterproductive to always want to have action and resolution.
  • The Importance of Finding the Right Moment to Communicate [00:09:22] Beth and Edin talk about the challenge of finding the right moment to have difficult conversations, and how it can be counterintuitive to bring up heavy topics during good times.
  • Checking in with Yourself and Knowing When to Have Conversations [00:11:48] Beth and her best friend, Edin, share advice on checking in with oneself and knowing when it’s time to push through the fear and have difficult conversations, rather than letting the weight of unspoken issues manifest in other ways.
  • Navigating Relationships [00:12:59] Beth and Edin discuss the challenges of being with strong-willed partners and the importance of communication in relationships.
  • Friendship Struggles [00:15:24] Beth shares her pregnancy news with Edin, who struggles to be happy for her due to her own personal issues. They discuss the ebb and flow of friendship and the importance of communication.
  • Reconciling Friendship [00:18:30] Beth and Edin discuss their recent phone call to reconcile after a week of no communication. They talk about the importance of owning up to mistakes and being honest in their friendship.
  • Straddling experiences [00:19:21] Beth and Edin discuss the challenge of straddling different relationship experiences and how to be respectful and sensitive to each other’s situations.
  • Envy and competition [00:21:29] They talk about the emotion of envy and how it can damage relationships, especially when it comes to celebrating each other’s successes.
  • Separation and change [00:24:06] Beth and Edin discuss how changes in their lives, such as becoming mothers or getting engaged, can create separation and affect their relationships with each other and with friends.
  • Normalizing Emotions [00:24:51] Beth and Edin discuss the importance of normalizing emotions, including envy and sadness, in relationships and being vulnerable with friends.
  • Challenges in Relationships [00:25:55] Beth shares her struggles with seeing others get pregnant and how it affects her, while Edin talks about the difficulties that many of her friends face in their relationships.
  • Reality vs. Fairytale [00:26:42] They wrap up their conversation by discussing the importance of remembering that what is projected on social media is not always reality and that everyone faces challenges and hardships in their relationships.