Quiet The Clock Podcast

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In Episode 30 of  “Quiet The Clock,” we are joined by therapists Jessi and Lauren to discuss the unique challenges and societal expectations for women at age 30, along with the pressure many women face concerning marriage, motherhood, and fertility. 

Jessi and Lauren openly share how they plan to approach this decade as they newly enter their 30’s and how they are doing it on their own terms and their own desires.

Their conversation focuses on embracing uncertainty, shifting personal mindsets and the potential importance of egg freezing. They highlight the importance of getting really clear and grounded in what you want and when so that you don’t feel the pressure of external voices or expectations.

 

Their conversation is a deep dive into the burden of responsibility placed on women, fertility health, and the role of partners in modern dating. Jessi and Lauren offer incredible advice on how to hold space for all the things you are feeling and how to get comfortable with the unknowns and your own anxieties as you navigate your 30’s.

 

Check it out here: Quiet The Clock – YouTube.com

 

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Quotes:

Jessi – 00:09:25:02 – 00:10:02:22 “The second we get back  on social media it’s like oh this girl I went to highschool with is pregnant with her 5th child and married to this great guy… AN I was like okay, bring it back to reality. Just because everyone else is going thought his right now doesn’t mean that you are supposed to be there and that’s how I get myself to back to how do I actually feel right now.” 

Beth – 00:19:52:02 – 00:20:22:09 “The stuff people will say to you. I remember when I was single, it’s like this backhanded compliment, you’re so amazing why are you single…When’s the baby coming when’s the baby…who don’t know what people are going through privately that could make that question very hurtful.” 

Lauren- 00:17:56:09 – 00:18:26:07 – “Some people will be like you’ve been together for a year and half, like let’s get it going. I just went on vacation and I can’t tell you how many people asked me if I thought I was getting  engaged. And I was annoyed because I don’t want this.  Why are you projecting…And then you have these outside voices, when are you getting married, when are you going to have a kid.” – 

 

 

Key Points:

  • Approaching the age of 30 and societal expectations [00:02:07] The guests discuss how they are approaching turning 30 and the societal expectations around marriage, motherhood, and fertility.
  • Navigating uncertainty and redefining timelines [00:02:43] One of the guests shares her uncertainty about motherhood and her decision to consider freezing her eggs. They discuss letting go of societal timelines and redefining their own paths.
  • Shifting mindset and embracing the unknown [00:08:33] Both guests share their shift in mindset, embracing the unknown, and focusing on their own journeys rather than conforming to societal expectations. They talk about prioritizing other aspects of their lives, such as career and personal growth, over motherhood at the moment.
  • Approaching 30 and societal expectations [00:09:29] Discussion on the pressure and challenges women face when approaching their 30s and feeling the need to meet societal expectations.
  • Staying in a positive mindset [00:10:19] The importance of staying positive and not comparing oneself to others on social media, and how to focus on one’s own feelings and desires.
  • Embracing uncertainty and finding joy [00:12:26] The mindset of embracing uncertainty and finding joy in one’s own journey, even if certain milestones like marriage and motherhood are not yet achieved.
  • Navigating Uncertainty in Relationships [00:17:26] Discussion about embracing uncertainty in relationships and the importance of conscious decision-making in timelines.
  • The Burden of Responsibility on Women [00:18:23] Exploration of the pressure on women to think about fertility health and the role of partners in conversations about fertility.
  • The Impact of External Expectations [00:19:11] Reflection on the external pressures and expectations around marriage, engagement, and having children, and the need to set boundaries.
  • The pressure to conform to societal timelines [00:26:27] Discussion on staying in a relationship for the sake of the partner’s desires and societal expectations.
  • Pausing and reflecting on personal desires [00:26:54] Importance of taking moments to pause and question one’s motivations and alignment with personal values.
  • Embracing uncertainty and the unknown [00:29:23] Encouragement to embrace discomfort and anxiety as indicators of strong desires, and to trust the timing of life’s unfolding.