In episode 18 of the “Quiet the Clock” podcast, therapist and host Beth Gulotta interviews Joanna Townsend about her story and the book club inspired by the book, “Women Without Kids: The Revolutionary Rise of an Unsung Sisterhood.” by Ruby Warrington. They discuss the societal expectations surrounding motherhood and the need to understand and validate the choice of not having children.
They also explore the concept of the motherhood spectrum, which recognizes that not everyone has the same experience or desire for motherhood. That the decision is not so binary as yes or no that women fall on many places on the spectrum of being unsure or undecided. Joanna emphasizes the importance of offering language and validation for the diverse range of thoughts, beliefs, and struggles around motherhood. They highlight the need to normalize different stories and experiences and empower women to make their own choices.
Quotes:
- “It felt like an exhale to have language around the spectrum of motherhood.
- “I love what you said to like holding space for all of it right? No choice is 100% and holding space for the grief but the sort of this decision you can make room for all of it and I think that’s so helpful for women to hear that there might not be 100% you know and that’s okay there can and I talked to my clients about this all the time like you can feel more than one thing at once and just it’s about holding space for all of it.”
- “Your choice is valid and we don’t have to question it.”
Key Points:
- The Motherhood Spectrum [00:06:49] Discussion on the concept of the motherhood spectrum and the validation it provides for women’s varying feelings and experiences regarding motherhood.
- The Revolutionary Rise of an Unsung Sisterhood [00:03:18] Introduction to the book “Women Without Kids: The Revolutionary Rise of an Unsung Sisterhood” and the importance of adding another voice to the conversation about women’s journeys and choices.
- Challenging Assumptions and Stereotypes [00:04:26] Exploration of the assumptions and stereotypes surrounding the choice not to have children, and the need to challenge societal expectations and judgments.
- The response to posting the book [00:11:21] The speaker discusses the surprising response and the creation of a book club for “Women Without Kids.”
- The power of finding like-minded women [00:12:27] The speaker talks about the relief and sense of belonging that comes from finding a community of women making similar choices.
- Personal decision and processing grief [00:14:33] The speaker shares their personal journey of arriving at the decision to not have children and the complexities and emotions involved.
- The variety and diversity of experiences [00:20:20] Discussion on women who didn’t initially choose to be childless, but circumstances led them to make that choice later on.
- Reasons for choosing not to have children [00:22:20] Exploration of reasons such as intergenerational trauma, personal vision for life, and connecting with one’s authentic self.
- Empowering women to make their own choices [00:25:31] Highlighting the importance of accepting and honoring women’s choices, empowering them to make decisions without feeling judged or obligated.
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