Are you feeling the pressure to meet societal timelines when it comes to dating, motherhood, and egg freezing? Do you struggle with internal judgment and the fear of missing out? If so, you’re not alone. In this episode of “Quiet the Clock,” we dive into these topics and more with Lauren and Julie, two mental health professionals from NYC Therapeutic Wellness.
We start by discussing the importance of turning self reflection and asking ourselves what are the patterns or the narratives that get in the way of dating. Lauren and Julie share their newfound love for their independence and the benefits of being single. We emphasize the importance of recognizing the benefits of being single and practicing gratitude, as well as rejecting external narratives that don’t align with personal values.
Lauren and Julie share their experiences with dating in their twenties and thirties, and the challenges of navigating dating apps in the modern age. We discuss the pressure to constantly date and the discomfort of being thrown into the conversation about freezing eggs without considering if motherhood is even desired.
We also touch on the mental load of decision-making and the impact of egg freezing on mental health. Julie emphasizes the importance of making autonomous choices and finding joy in the present moment, while Beth adds that the conversation about motherhood should be informative rather than forced.
We wrap up the episode with a discussion of the book “Olive” by Emma Gannon, which captures the complexities and doubts surrounding motherhood and the importance of owning one’s journey.
Join us for this thought-provoking conversation and learn how to break free from societal timelines and prioritize your own happiness and well-being.
FOLLOW LAUREN:
FOLLOW JULIE:
Quotes:
- “just the amount of fear that you feel about showing up as yourself is completely minuscule compared to the power that you have as showing up as yourself.”
- “I’m like basically like a plant like sunshine water great food like all of that makes me a better me yeah so when I go on dates now I’m like do you have your conditions of growth?”
- “I think a lot of the times like you can once disguise themselves as need.”
- “you need space you need time to breathe and show up as you and like being able to reject things even if it’s given with care is like an incredibly empowering space.”
- “I’m finally in a place where I kind of love my independence. It doesn’t feel like it’s something that I have and I don’t want. It’s something that I fought really hard to get, and now I’m like hell yeah.”
Key Points:
- The Fight Worth Having [00:00:00] Lauren and Julie discuss the importance of turning inward and having a fight with oneself about who they want to be, rather than being angry about external factors such as being single or not married.
- Introducing Julie and Lauren [00:01:42] Beth introduces her guests, Julie and Lauren, who are both mental health professionals at NYC Therapeutic Wellness. They discuss their motivations for being on the podcast and the common ground they share as professional women navigating dating and love.
- The Perks of Being Single [00:07:41] Julie and Lauren discuss the benefits and perks of being single, including the ability to choose and live on their own timeline, without having to worry about anyone else. They emphasize the importance of recognizing and practicing gratitude for these benefits.
- Recognizing the Temporary Nature of Life [00:08:47] The speakers discuss the temporary nature of different eras in life and the importance of finding joy in the present moment.
- Time as a Limited Resource [00:09:14] The guests talk about the societal pressure of meeting certain milestones and the importance of recognizing time as a limited resource.
- Rejecting Societal Expectations [00:13:10] The speakers discuss the importance of rejecting societal expectations and choosing to accept or reject external information. They also touch on the generational and cultural ties to tying self-worth to milestones.
- The Messy Twenties [00:16:45] The speakers discuss their experiences in their twenties, including dating and societal pressure to find a partner.
- Dating in New York City [00:21:41] The speakers share their experiences with dating apps and dating in New York City, including using Hinge and meeting people in person.
- Accepting Uncertainty [00:22:36] The speakers discuss the societal pressure to have everything figured out by a certain age and the importance of accepting uncertainty in life.
- Being Single and Gratitude [00:24:23] The speakers discuss the benefits of being single and the importance of practicing gratitude.
- Approaching Dating and Relationships [00:25:37] The guests, Lauren and Julie, share their personal experiences and frameworks for approaching dating and relationships.
- Egg Freezing and Turning 30 [00:31:05] Everyone discusses the societal pressure of egg freezing and turning 30, and how it can feel daunting and challenging.
- Autonomy of Choice [00:32:07] Lauren and Julie discuss the pressure of societal timelines and the importance of having autonomy of choice when it comes to deciding whether or not to have children.
- Mental Health Impacts of Egg Freezing [00:33:02] Lauren and Julie discuss the mental health impacts of the egg freezing process and the lack of information provided to those going through it.
- Owning Your Own Journey [00:35:47] Julie and Lauren discuss the book “Olive” by Emma Gannon, which explores the complexities of questioning whether or not to have children. They emphasize the importance of owning your own journey and being empowered by it.